Necesito sacarme
todo esto de adentro. 2 años sin escribir por este medio.
2 años
Me siento triste, pero sé que éste espacio me ayuda para reconocer los puntos positivos, y no la nube de oscuridad que me da la realidad.
10 años de intensidad. Esto nunca va a terminar.
Necesito sacarme
todo esto de adentro. 2 años sin escribir por este medio.
2 años
Me siento triste, pero sé que éste espacio me ayuda para reconocer los puntos positivos, y no la nube de oscuridad que me da la realidad.
sorry for my grammar.
This is a letter for Vishal. Who is breaking my heart at this moment.
I'm so angry with you. You pissed me out. I want to hate you but that never will be possible. I keep justifying your attitude and that's even worst.
I was incredible open minded with you. This relationship with differents cultures was a challenge, i love challenge but this is wrong. I tried my best. Not because of my own wishes and needs, but because i knew that i was an emotional support for you too. You opened many unhealed wounds and we had the chance of talking about one of each and loving one of each. Your never where exactly what i would expect for a partner but you were always a surprise to me. We are so different that that allows us to grow. But, what is the point of all the good times we had if you don't have any kind of emotional responsibility. Why will you get involved with me this much if you don't have any kind of compassion about my feelings.
I know you so well, so well. That i know why you behave like this, you just don't think this is a big deal. And for the first time, me and all my dramas disagree. It's like you don't care about me at all. i'm not saying that it's wrong that you pursue your dream. I'm really happy that you are doing that. i feel a sincere happiness about you leaving to make your dreams come true. what i think is bad is how you handle the situation. Telling me this on my birthday, and in the way you did, making fun of it.. Like trying to keep it cool. Do you ever cared about me? I justifyed you and your cold traits, your lack of attention to me, your lack of demostration, by saying to myself that you do love me but it's just that you have another ways.
But now, i think that i just be a fool all this time, and you only care about you and not other single thing in the world.
I know that i should hate you now. I should hate this selfishness of yours. I do hate your lack of emphaty towards me, but even if i try hard i can't hate you. I know you so well that i have like a brain set, where i understand why you do the things you do and why you don't. And it makes me feel so sad that you don't know me, you don't know me at all, you never tried anything to make me feel happy, i mean, you never cared about my feelings. Or maybe, what is worst, you do know me, you really understand me, and yet you decided to hurt me.
Let's take a break. I know that we can still be friends, but not now. I need sometime for healing first. Maybe i'll talk to you in a month or so. Then you can tell when will you leave the army. probably i will send you long emails when you get to the army, but i'll do emails so you can read it once everything is over.